2 Corinthians 12:9-10

New International Version (NIV)

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Closer

closer to GodImage by miuenski via Flickr
Why does it feel like the closer I try to get to God, the further away I feel?  The desire is  always there but the effort seems lazy.  As if a wall was put up between Him and I and I have no way of breaking through and I am just to tired to try.  I want things to be the way they used to be.  But there is no going back only moving forward.  But what am I moving forward to?

I haven't been writing as much as I used to.  I almost feel like a hypocrite.  How can I talk so much about walking by faith, when I myself seem to have so little lately?  How did I get here and where do I go from here?

I want to be closer to God with every ounce of my being.  I need Him more than I need air, but yet I feel so lost, so far away.

One thing I do know is that when I feel this far away from Him, that is when He is the closest to me.  He will never let me go.  I know that this will make me stronger and closer in the end.  But right now I have to breathe by faith, because here lately, I just can't see.  It is not He who is far from me but rather me that is far from Him.  But He will always show me the way.

Psalm 139:1-10 (NIV, ©2011) 1 You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. 5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

4 comments:

  1. This last year as I hit some tough stuff I learned that faith is not for the easy days that makes sense. It is needed on the dark days that cannot be figured out in my own mind. That's what makes it faith, otherwise it is just knowing that God is there.
    As your blog says, faith is for when you cannot see. Praying for you Hun.

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  2. I think we all have moments like you have discribed and I do find strength in the Scripturs and in prayer.
    I had a very humbling experience with the Washing of the feet that I recently post. I have been working on posts about the Savior and today it is on Gethsemane; I am struggling with the intense emotions and love I have for the Savior.
    Anyway, enjoy the moments of this Easter Season and know you are loved by God.
    LeAnn

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  3. Jesus Christ is always near us...faith is neither for the faint of heart nor a crutch for the weak but is rather a dependence on one greater than ourselves.

    having promised to never forsake us we can rest assured that His word is true

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  4. We seem to think identically many of your posts. I talk of faith all the time, but when you say He's here and will never leave me, why do i feel like its too good to be true for me...I hold on by a thread it seems, yet I wish it would carry me to fully finding Him

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