2 Corinthians 12:9-10

New International Version (NIV)

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

I'm Still A Dreamer

B l i n kImage via Wikipedia
Things rarely fall into place for me.    I can't even remember the last time things actually went smoothly for anything.  I try to keep cool and collected, but inside I am literally losing my mind.  For once I just want to come out on top, I just want things to work out. 

I am the one who is walked over, sometimes even trampled on.  I am the one that gets taken advantage of, pushed aside, used and sometimes abused.  I am the one who is expendable and who rarely matters.  Whose feelings aren't very important, and who is usually left out because she doesn't really matter anyway.

I have lost my faith in so many things, yet there is this overwhelming hope inside of me that God has something big for me.  That all of this will be worth it one day.  That all of this is to just build my character and mold me into the person that I am intended to be.  The person that God created me to be.  Hoping against all hope that this only temporary, even though it seems like forever.  My soul is weary, my patience thin, my heart bruised and battered.  But I am still a dreamer.  I still believe in the God of the impossible, that God that can move mountains.  A God who has an ultimate plan for me.  A God who can make all of my dreams come true.

Psalm 31:24 (NIV, ©2011) 24 Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.

Lamentations 3:24 (New Living Translation) 24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!”
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Tuesday, April 26, 2011


24/7 Snapshots - I Give my AllImage by infiniteshutter via Flickr
I am the type of person that always tries to give 110%.  With work, with helping others.  The effort is always there even through sometimes I get exhausted along the way.   It was the way I was raised, to go above and beyond.  To help others, to figure things out.  Even when its not my "job" to do.  I don't like to let problems sit, I like resolutions.  So sometimes, a lot of times, I step out of my box and even sometimes my comfort zone to get things done.

So it got me to thinking.  With all the day to day duties, with all the additional burdens I cast on myself.  Do I give God 110%?  Sadly, the answer is no.  I am so busy with everything else that comes up and comes my way that I doubt if I give him 10?   That's the problem, sometimes, most time I am just too busy. 

We should never be too busy for God.  We should always give Him our all.  We will never be able to repay Him for what He did for us.   So, why is it so easy to give to everything and everyone else?  Why is it so easy to put God aside?

God deserves our very best.  I would be a hypocrite to say that I don't fall short in that department.  But I know that He places these burdens on my heart for a reason. The only way to learn is to fall. Our relationship with God has to be greater than any other relationship that we have.  We can't just say we love Him, we have to show it.  We have to give Him 110%.  I am guilty of neglecting God.  Are you?

Matthew 22:36-37 (NIV, ©2011)  36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind

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Monday, April 18, 2011


closer to GodImage by miuenski via Flickr
Why does it feel like the closer I try to get to God, the further away I feel?  The desire is  always there but the effort seems lazy.  As if a wall was put up between Him and I and I have no way of breaking through and I am just to tired to try.  I want things to be the way they used to be.  But there is no going back only moving forward.  But what am I moving forward to?

I haven't been writing as much as I used to.  I almost feel like a hypocrite.  How can I talk so much about walking by faith, when I myself seem to have so little lately?  How did I get here and where do I go from here?

I want to be closer to God with every ounce of my being.  I need Him more than I need air, but yet I feel so lost, so far away.

One thing I do know is that when I feel this far away from Him, that is when He is the closest to me.  He will never let me go.  I know that this will make me stronger and closer in the end.  But right now I have to breathe by faith, because here lately, I just can't see.  It is not He who is far from me but rather me that is far from Him.  But He will always show me the way.

Psalm 139:1-10 (NIV, ©2011) 1 You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. 5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Friday, April 1, 2011


Individual ProtectionImage by Martin Gommel via Flickr
There recently was a horrible accident in town.  A young child was killed while attempting to get on the school bus.  The other morning on the radio they were reporting new details on the case.  As I started to listen I realized that my eight year old was in the back listening also.  The report began to get a little graphic as to the horrific injuries to this young child, so I turned the radio down so my little one couldn't hear.

My son didn't say anything, he just sat quietly in the back.  But I knew he heard a little. He worries a lot about things, things that he shouldn't be worrying about.  So I knew that if he heard too much it could harm him. So, for a long as I can I will try to protect his innocence, his naivety, his faith.

God wants to protect us from harm, just like I wanted to protect my son.  How many times has he shielded you?  God knows what is best for us, but just like my son we are all curious of the unknown.  Even when the unknown could hurt us. But just how my son trusts that I know what is best for him,  We should always trust that God knows best for us.  He will always protect us, we just have to let him.

Psalm 4:8 (NIV, ©2011) 8 In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 32:7 (NIV, ©2011) 7 You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
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