2 Corinthians 12:9-10

New International Version (NIV)

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Letters To God

My husband and I watched another great movie this weekend.  I will admit it wasn't the best acting, but it was the kind of movie that captures your heart and really makes you think about the difference that one person can make.

"Letters to God" is based on a true story.  It is centered around a boy named Tyler who has terminal cancer.  Even though Tyler is sick and scared, he has total and utter dependence on God, with a faith that is unshakable.  To him, God is his friend, his teacher and so much more.  His prayers take the form of letters.  These letters that he puts into the mail everyday without hesitation. 

Tyler's kindness and faith touches everyone that he meets, even ones who aren't so kind to him.  In particular his letters help to transform the life of a postman who is temporarily taking over his route.

I won't ruin the ending for you.  I loved this movie.  Some parts were a little cheesy.  But I must say you will need a box of tissue or two.  This one child's faith was able to move mountains.  If only we could have so much faith, so much total dependence on God. 

What would happen if our prayers took the form of letters to God?  Who would they reach and how many lives would be touched?

I recommend this movie to anyone,  you will be changed.

1 Corinthians 13:13 (NIV) 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Two Masters

You cannot serve both God and moneyImage by skambalu via Flickr
I had a job once where I had two bosses.  It was a partnership and they both were equal partners.  I had the pleasure of working for both of them.

Each had their own way of doing things, completely different from the other.  Their personalities were like night and day.  In the beginning, things were not too bad.  I learned each of their ways and rarely confused the two.  I was able to keep things separated.

As time went on I grew close to one boss and grew to despise the other.  Once was rude and arrogant, belittling and condescending.  The other, although he had his moments, was usually kind and appreciative of the work I was doing.  The arrogant one could tell that I hated doing his work and would often make comments about it.  He noticed that I was more devoted to doing the other ones work.  I always did everything I was supposed to do,  but I did it with spite and resentment.

Most of the time in our life we believe that we can be of the world and still serve God.  We think that we can keep up with things and keep the two separated.  But as time goes by, we end up getting closer to one and further away from the Other.  Just like I did with my two bosses.

The Bible warns us of this, it tells us the consequences when we attempt to serve both.  When we try, we end us getting so involved, so engulfed with the world that we lose sight of God and can no longer see Him.  Sometimes we even forget He exist at all.  Things may be good for awhile until realize that we are lost and can't find our way out.  The things of this world are only temporary.  But God, oh  HE is forever.

God should always be first, ahead of everything else in our life.  There should be nothing that we put before Him.  Whether it be work, money, fame, even family.  God should always be first in our life.  Because when He is first then everything else just falls into place.  Unlike when we put the world ahead of Him. With God first, we will never lose sight of the path ahead and He will bless us beyond measure.

The things of this world can corrupt us, it just so easily lures us in.  Our hearts become cold, we become spiteful, bitter, arrogant. We want things, we want to show off our wealth or what ever it is that we have that is better then someone else's. We want more and more. We become lovers of the world, mainly money.  We forget God, or just outright despise Him. 

I am not saying that money is evil, but if you put it ahead of God it is.

So my question to you.  Who will you serve? 

Luke 16:13 (NIV) "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."
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Thursday, September 23, 2010


There Goes Peter...Image by jamestraceur via Flickr
I once heard a sermon that spoke about how quickly God works in our life, once we ask. Sometimes we get discouraged and we think that God does not hear us.  We think that God is taking his precious time with us.  But that is not the case at all.

Somethings take longer then others to be revealed, and somethings will be revealed in God's time not ours.  But when we really need him and time is of the essence, God works immediately, or at least that is when it is apparent.  As our words come from our mouth before they even reach His ears, He is busy at work.  Immediately and without hesitation He is answering our prayers, taking our burdens, wiping our tears.  All we have to do is ask and have faith.

Sometimes, actually a lot of times its not the way we want it or the way we planned it.  We have to accept the fact that God knows what is best for us, always. When we fall,  God is there immediately to pick us up.  There is no "I'll be there in a minute," or "Wait".  Healing begins immediately, forgiveness happens immediately, there is no "I'll think about it and get back to you."  The most amazing part is when you see it and you feel it.  God is amazing in every aspect.

Want to know how quickly God can work in your life?  Ask Him and find out.

Matthew 14:31 (NIV) 31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

Mark 1:31 (NKJV) 31 So He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up, and immediately the fever left her. And she served them.

Mark 1:42 (NKJV) 42 As soon as He had spoken, immediately the leprosy left him, and he was cleansed.

Mark 5:25-35 (NKJV) 25 Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years, 26 and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse. 27 When she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment. 28 For she said, “If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well.” 29 Immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the affliction. 30 And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My clothes?” 31 But His disciples said to Him, “You see the multitude thronging You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’” 32 And He looked around to see her who had done this thing. 33 But the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. 34 And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”

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Monday, September 20, 2010

Chasing Dreams

Chasing dreamsImage by *kj via Flickr
I have lots of dreams.  Dreams of who I want to be, what I want to be, what I want to do with my life.  Dreams of having more, more money, more things.  Dreams of having a better life, better then the life I have now.
It's not often that I get to hear the sermon at church.  Usually I am either in the kitchen getting the food ready for fellowship dinner or chasing my 2 year old around.  So most of the time I just hear parts of the message.  Sometimes, I think God purposely has me hear certain parts. He calls my attention just at the right time.

It was a couple of months ago that I caught a part of a sermon about dreams.  We all have dreams.  We all have hopes.  But sometimes we get so caught up on the world and what other people do, that our dreams and our hopes become tainted and twisted.  We start wanting things that aren't good for us, and dreaming of things that can destroy us.  Our dreams become nothing more then our own selfish desires. Then we spend most of our time and energy chasing these dreams and getting nowhere.

The sermon went on to talk about God's dreams for us.  It was then that I realized my own selfish dreams. God always gives me what I need when I need it.  I said a little prayer and I asked God to reveal His dream for my life to me so that it may become my dream for my life.  I don't want to go where He is not and I certainly don't want a dream without Him in it.  I want His dream for me to my dream for me, because I want to trust Him with everything. I want to trust Him with every aspect of my life.

God has big dreams for us, more than anything we could ever imagine.  But we have to surrender ourselves to His will.  We may not understand and the road may not be clear at first, but eventually we will see what His dream is for our life.  His dreams for us are extraordinary, He will not let us down.

So what is God's dream for your life?  Are you willing to find out?

Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV) 8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD. 9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

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Friday, September 17, 2010

The Plan of The Lamb

the lamb of godImage by Andrew.Beebe via Flickr
I included a lot of scripture in my post today, but  it is such an amazing scripture in Revelation that I had to include it all. Every time I read it I get chills and it brings tears to my eyes.

When God created man, He knew man would fall.  Before he created this world or anything in it, He knew what would come.   But He had a plan, a plan so great that it would save the world in which he was about to create, should it fall.

Things were set in motion long before it all began.  He loved us before we were ever made.  He loved us with a love so strong that absolutely nothing could come between us.  A love that knows no boundaries, no end.  A love so strong, so absolute that he would spare nothing to save us.

What Jesus did and what He went through to save this world is unfathomable, unimaginable.  He said Himself that all He had to do was call to his Father to save Him.  But He didn't.  There was a plan put in place, a place that He and His Father carefully and strategically planned.  A plan to save the world.  A plan to save man.  He never looked back, He never said "never mind."  He was going to do it no matter what.

He took the sins of the entire world upon his shoulders and He suffered the worst possible death.  He would have done it for just one.  He purchased me with His blood.  One drop of his blood saved me and gave me eternal life.

What a love!!!   A love that God, God, infinite, everlasting, everywhere, all knowing, God would love us soooo much that He would give His only, His only begotten son to save us, to save me!!

He knew, He knew, He knew but He made us anyway and He sacrificed everything for us!! There is nothing that you have done or could ever do that could escape His love, remember that then next time you fall.

He is worthy of honor and praise!!!  He is worthy of all of our love, because He first loved us!! The plan of the Lamb!!

Revelation 5:1-14 (NIV)
The Scroll and the Lamb
1Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne a scroll with writing on both sides and sealed with seven seals. 2And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming in a loud voice, "Who is worthy to break the seals and open the scroll?" 3But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look inside it. 4I wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the scroll or look inside. 5Then one of the elders said to me, "Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals."
6Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits[a] of God sent out into all the earth. 7He came and took the scroll from the right hand of him who sat on the throne. 8And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints. 9And they sang a new song: "You are worthy to take the scroll
and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God
from every tribe and language and people and nation. 10You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth."
11Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. 12In a loud voice they sang: "Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!"
13Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!" 14The four living creatures said, "Amen," and the elders fell down and worshiped.

So what is in this scroll? My guess would be the plan of salvation, which is why Jesus was the only one worthy to open it, because He completed it.

Comments are more than welcome.
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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

The HurtingImage via Wikipedia
I read one of the saddest blogs the other day.  It brought tears to my eyes and broke my heart.  It was about a man who lost his wife hours after she gave birth to their first child.  Suddenly this picture perfect life that they had both dreamed of was shattered in to a million pieces.

I asked myself the question.  Why do bad things happen to good people? 

I don't know these people personally I just read the story.  But what I do know is that this baby will never know her mom and this dad will go it alone.

There are a lot of things that I cannot explain, that I do not understand. The widow who just lost her husband. The widower who just lost his wife. The child that just lost her mother or father. The dreaded diagnosis of a horrible fatal disease. All of these precious children with cancer and other dreaded diseases.  The list goes on and on. They don't deserve it. Why do bad things happen to good people?

I don't have the answer to this question.  I don't know why God allows somethings to happen.  But I do know that somewhere somehow there will be a blessing.  Hard as it may be to believe, we just have to have faith. Like Job, we have to praise God through the storm.  We have to love Him regardless, because it is only through Him that all blessings flow.  God's love for us is unimaginable and nothing that happens to us is in vain.

This world is full of the unfair. Right now we have no explanation to why this is. One day we will understand and we will get our answer. There is always a reason, and one day all will be revealed.

Job 1:21 (KJV) 21And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

Matthew 5:45 (NIV) 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

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Monday, September 13, 2010

Not By Sight

The other day when I was taking my evening walk, I decided to try an experiment.  I decided to close my eyes and try to walk the path that I walked daily.  Once I closed my eyes it was difficult, I kept veering to the side.  I kept opening my eyes out of fear of running into something.  I wasn't walking by faith, just not by sight.  After a total of two minutes into this experiment I gave up, it just wasn't worth it.

I've been struggling with a lot lately; work, finances, family.  Sometimes it hard to trust that everything is going to work out.  When doubt sets in. Its not always easy to walk by faith.  Sometimes it is just plain difficult.  We keep opening our eyes afraid of running into something, not trusting that God will guide our way. Every hope, every dream is all in faith.  And sometimes we are so afraid that our hopes and dreams will never happen. We are so wrapped up in our current situation that we just can't see the bigger picture.

How do we keep faith, especially when we cannot see?

When Peter walked on water with Jesus, it was through faith alone.  He believed in Jesus and believed in His power.  But then he took his eyes off of Jesus, and fear began to set in and he sank into the sea only to be saved by an outstretched hand.  He doubted for a moment and that moment caused him to sink.  How many times do we lose our faith and sink?  How many times does doubt get the best of us? How many times do we just reject that outstretched hand?

I have found that through my trials, my faith always seems to get stronger. It may not always start out that way, but in the end I know who to trust. The Lord has always provided a roof over my head and food in belly.  He has always made sure that my ever need has been met.  I may not always get what I want.  But having faith means that we trust that God knows what we really need.  And that is something that we can place all of our hopes and dreams in, we just have to have faith. 

Matthew 14:28-33 (NIV) 28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
29"Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" 32And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

Saturday, September 11, 2010

In Remembrance of Today

God Bless AmericaImage by kuddlyteddybear2004 via Flickr
I was at work and had absolutely no idea what was going on nine years ago today.  A client came in and said that a plane hit one of the twin towers.  Nobody thought it was real.  Once we realized it was we thought it was an accident, until the second tower was struck.  That is when we realized that things would never be the same.  This day will never be forgotten.  Nine years ago today we realized that anything can happen at anytime, anywhere.

But just remember that God is with you always!!!  He will give you strength and he will be your protection from the storm.

We all know what today is.  So in remembrance of all of those who were affected in anyway, a special prayer goes out to you today.  God Bless!!!

Psalm 147:3 (NIV) 3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

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Friday, September 10, 2010

What Do You Do?

JesusImage via Wikipedia
I have been contemplating where or not to even write this post. Well, here goes, I hope I don't offend anyone in anyway, I am only stating my personal opinion.

The recent controversy over the burning of the Qur'an tentatively scheduled for tomorrow, September 11, 2010 has created massive media coverage.  I usually try to stay clear of controversy, but religion itself is controversial.  Everyone has something to say on this issue, everyone has taken a side.

So where do I stand?  I can understand why someone would want to do this. This is a free country, we are blessed with the freedom of religion, freedom of speech, the very freedom that will allow this burning to take place, if it in fact does. HOWEVER,  I personally and from a "Christian" standpoint cannot condone it.

The question on many lips is what would Jesus do?  So that is my question to you. The fact that the ringleader in this is a Pastor, I have to ask this question.  When you are representing a "Christian" faith, you have to ask yourself this question.

We cannot blame all for the actions of some.  We cannot condemn an entire religion because there are some extremist.

When Jesus spoke to the women at the well, He didn't condemn her or attack her.  Jesus did everything out of love.  He loves us all, no matter what we believe. He remained humble through his very crucifixion and even prayed for those who killed him.  So what would Jesus do in the situation at hand?  I think we all know the answer to this question.

The enemy is close (and by that I mean satan) and will do absolutely anything to create dysfunction and separation to this world and especially to God's people. Besides the danger that this action will put on Americans as well as other "Christians" abroad, which is the most important issue.  By this action many may be tuned away from God and others may never come to know Him. Who wants to serve a God of intolerance?  What are "Christians" who are supposed to be "Christ like" displaying by this action?  We are supposed to turn the other cheek, we are not supposed to judge.  We are supposed to pray and put it in God's hands, not take it into our own.  Not act out of anger.

With that being said, this is only my opinion, this is only what I feel about the issue.  All I can do is pray that God will place a burden on their hearts to do the right thing, whatever that may be.

Love them like Jesus, carry them to HIM!!!!

1 John 4:7-21 (NIV) Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[a] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[b] our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.13We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19We love because he first loved us. 20If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

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Thursday, September 9, 2010


Hiding under the coversImage by Chirag D. Shah via Flickr
I hate those days where I am so physically exhausted that I can barely function.  Those days where I can barely stand. Today was one of those days.  Its not everyday, although here lately it seems to be, where I am so tired that I just can't seem to move.  I wake up tired, eyes watering, my body aches, I just want to stay in bed. That last thing I want is another challenge from the world outside.  If it were up to me I would just hide under the covers and wish the world away.  When I'm just exhausted, not only physically, but mentally, spiritually, emotionally.

No matter how exhausted I am I don't have the choice to stay in bed, I don't get to hide from the world. I have to get up, there is always much to be done.  I just pray that God give me the strength to get through the day.  I pray for the patience to deal with daily trials ahead. I pray that he gives me the ability to handle any challenge that comes my way.

These are the days where I feel like I am going through the motions.  The only reason that I can function is because the tasks have been embedded in my brain, so it more like repetition then it is thinking.  I get home and there is no rest it is back to work again.  Dinner then homework then cleaning up.  When can I finally get some rest? Will I ever have time for just me?

I feel so lost.  Where am I?  What is going on?  Where are you Lord? I can barely stand.  My body is weak, my mind is numb, my soul is weary.  My heart hurts and my spirit is broken.  Please, get me through this!!

I made it through another exhausting day. As always, the Lord always provides.  He gives me exactly what I need when I need it.   Sometimes it feels like He is literally holding me up, helping me get through my tasks. When my work is done, I don't even remember how I did it. He renews my spirit and my soul and gets me ready for another day. I don't know what I would do without Him, for He is my strength. His love always amazes me!!

Isaiah 40:28 Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. 29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. 30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: 31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew [7] their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

To God's Ears

His EarsImage by Amydeanne via Flickr
I once worked with a lady who beautiful and kind.  She had a really hard life, but always managed to have a smile on her face.  She was in her mid-30's and was a single mom. She barely had any time for herself and always seem stretched so thin. She always had to work, she didn't have many to depend on.  Sometimes she could barely support herself and her child, but always seemed to find a way. No matter what was going on, no matter what problems she seemed to have she was always kind to everyone.  Even to those who weren't so kind to her.

She depended on God for everything, she had faith that He would see her thru.  Even though things never seemed to go her way.  She always seemed to find Mr. Wrong, never Mr. Right.  I remember her saying often, how she wished she could meet her future husband. She would get so excited just from the thought. From her lips to God's ears.

She met a kind gentleman in the elevator that worked in the same building as she.  He was a little older than her, had no children and had never been married. He had a fantastic job and made a good life for himself. She was hesitant at first, for she never seemed to pick the right guy.  But this one was different.  If she could have made a list of her perfect man, he would have met it to a tee.  He loved her and her child and would do absolutely anything for them.  A while later they were married. She has met her husband in an elevator, somewhere where she least expected it.   God works in mysterious ways.

These days she no longer has to work, she gets to stay at home and take care of her child.  She is no longer stressed with how she will get by.  She now has time for herself  and is no longer stretched too thin. God has taken care of her beyond measure.

God knows the longings of your heart, He knows what you want before you ever ask him. Whenever you think God isn't listening, remember the lady I once worked with.  For God gave her the greatest desire of her heart, all she had to do was trust Him.

Psalm 37:4-7 (NIV) 4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

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Saturday, September 4, 2010

They Don't Deserve It

filthy ragsImage by Amydeanne via Flickr
So often being the self righteous person that I am, I find myself thinking that of other people, that they don't deserve it.  When good things happen to what I think is not a good person, or if I just think that I deserve it more. Like I gave myself the authority to be the ultimate judge of character. 

Once again God stops me in my tracks and I hear him say "and who are you?"  Yes, I know.  I am nothing but a sinner myself, actually a self righteous sinner.

No matter how hard we try, we often find ourselves judging other people, based on what we see. But whether we believe them to be good or bad, that is not the point.  It is not for us to decide, because only God knows the heart.  We can't judge a book by its cover, just as we can't judge people by just what we see.  Sometimes, people are exactly what we think they are, but God still loves them.  Just as He still loves me, especially when I don't deserve it. 

When we choose to be a "Christian" and by that I mean a follower of Christ, sometimes we think we know everything.  We think we have all of the answers and we think we know better.  We forget who we once were and where we have been and we become self righteous.  We judge others, we turn our noses up at others, we shake our head at others.  We think to ourselves "At least I'm not like that."  Shame on me.  I know better than that.  Because even though I call myself a "Christian"  I am still a sinner, I sin daily, no matter how hard I try not to.  God loves sinners, God loves me and you.

It is so easy to become self righteous.  Most of the time it is because we don't want to see our own sins or issues.  It is easier to judge other people then to deal with our own problems.   We all fall short the grace of God.  But HE still gives it to us all.  So the next time I find myself being self righteous,  Lord please stop me!!

Isaiah 64:4-9 (NIV)4 Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. 5 You come to the help of those who gladly do right, who remember your ways. But when we continued to sin against them, you were angry. How then can we be saved? 6 All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away. 7 No one calls on your name or strives to lay hold of you; or you have hidden your face from us and made us waste away because of our sins. 8 Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. we are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. 9 Do not be angry beyond measure, O LORD; do not remember our sins forever. Oh, look upon us, we pray,
for we are all your people.

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Friday, September 3, 2010

Holding a Grudge

Angry manImage via Wikipedia
If there is anyone who can carry a grudge, its me.  You cross me, you better watch out.  I am not the type of person to lay down and let people walk all over me.

About a year ago my daughter bit another child, she went through a horrible biting stage.  We did everything we possibly could do to get her to stop.  I even spoke to her pediatrician and was told that she would grow out of it.  Eventually she did, just like he said.

She was at the sitter and bit another child, she was about 14 months old, so she really didn't understand a whole lot at that time.

The reaction of the mother of the child she bit well I thought was a little overboard.  She accused me of being a bad mother and not being able to control my kids, threaten that I could be sued,  and so forth.  Weeks later she was still trying to justify her reaction and that I needed to control my kid.  I was livid, and I was not backing down.  The nerve of her to make those kind of comments.

I will admit that I would have been a little upset had it been my child, maybe I would have acted the same way, maybe not.  Anyway, the way I felt about her at that time I cannot say out loud.

I saw her a few weeks ago a birthday party and we didn't say a word to each other.  I refused to speak to her and she still acted high and mighty. So a year later and neither one of us had grown up any.

A few days later I was taken back.  Yes, once again, God stopped me in my tracks.  He made me realize my actions and he made me realize that I hadn't really let it go.  Why in the world why I still holding a grudge?  It was over, done, finished.  But I didn't want to let it go, like it would be admitting defeat.  Like I would be admitting that I did something wrong.  But God made realize what I was doing to myself and to Him.

Grudges fester and eventually take on a life of their own.  The can tear you up and turn you into something you don't want to be.  Grudges make you bitter and cold. Grudges turn into a burden you can barely hold.

How can I ever be any kind of reflection of God if I can't let this go?  Do I really want to lose my soul over a stupid grudge?  Because that is what was happening,  I was getting so engulfed with my anger that it would consume me.  I had to let it go,  I had to forgive. 

Forgiveness isn't about being wrong or right.  It is not saying that what you did is ok.  Its saying I am letting it go and moving on. Its over, its done.  I'm throwing it in the ocean. When I came to that realization and finally after a year let it go, it was like this huge burden had been lifted off of my shoulders.  It's gone and it feels great.  It made we wonder why I hadn't done it sooner. 

As "Christians"  sometimes we get self consumed, we get self righteous. We get so occupied with other peoples imperfections that we forgot so see our own, we refuse to see our own.  As people we hate to feel attacked and humiliated for no reason.  Its a tough blow when you are slapped in the face after trying so hard to kind.  But it happens, and as "Christians" we have to handle things, situations differently.  If we lose ourselves to anger and carry a grudge, then we have lost.

Whether she was wrong or right, I can change her or the way she acted.  But I can change me!!  It doesn't mean that I have to like her, but it does mean that I have to let it go and move on.  And the next time I see her to be a better reflection.

Everyday God teaches me something new about myself.  I'm a work in progress. I can't say thank you enough!!!

So what lesson will tomorrow bring?? Only God knows ;) (no pun intended)

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV) 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Romans 12:17-21 (NIV) 17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"[a]says the Lord. 20On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."[b] 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Falling Short

St. Augustine, Florida: Mission Nombre de Dios...Image via Wikipedia
I am an impostor, a hypocrite, a liar and a sinner.  I am a walking disaster.  It seems that no matter how hard I try I always fall short.  I can't seem to get it together.   I can't seem to stop being a sinner.  Whats the point? Why does it seem that the world is so easy?  Why does it seem that serving God is so hard?

Lord, why are You still here?  Why do You want me?  If my sins were broadcast for all to see, would You still stand by me?  Why am I so important to You?

At my lowest I am befuddled with these questions.  Sometimes I wonder, where do I fit in?  Where do I belong?  That is when I can fell God telling me, " You belong with Me!!"  He doesn't care where I have been or what I have done, I belong with Him.  I know that it seems that I post the same thing over and over, but I need this more than anyone reading it. 

I know that if it were just me, Jesus still would have come and died on that cross, just for me.  When I feel the furthest away from Him, that is when He is the closest to me. I am so not worthy!! 

I try to remind myself that I must be doing something right if Satan is trying so hard to drive a wedge between me and God.  Making me feel  like I can never be forgiven, making me feel like I am forgotten.  But God makes sure I know that He loves me, He gives me an overwhelming peace after the storm.

I fall short daily.  I don't deserve Him.  Yet He still loves me.  His love for me in unfathomable. We all fall short, but we all still belong with Him.

"I Need You To Love Me" (Barlow Girl)
Why, why are You still here with me
Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide myself
But it's here I see the truth
I don't deserve You

Romans 3:23 (NIV) 3for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Ephesians 2:8 (NIV) 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—

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