2 Corinthians 12:9-10

New International Version (NIV)

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Friday, July 9, 2010

This Is My Story, This Is My Song...........

I was 7 months pregnant with my first child when my dad was diagnosed with cancer,  he had an inoperable tumor in his nasal cavity.  I remember the day that they told me like it was yesterday.  There was this overwhelming feeling of helplessness as my heart was breaking and the world was literally crumbling under my feet.  Would my son ever know his grandfather?  What will happen to my dad? Only by a miracle was his cancer caught at stage 1, but still any kind of surgery would leave him severely disfigured.  He opted for radiation therapy.  The next few months were gruelling.  I had a beautiful baby boy but instead of being happy about my new son,  I was frantically searching for answers.

I had strayed far away from God.  I was raised in a good Christian home, in fact at the time of his diagnosis my dad was an elder in the church, he was always active in the church,  for as long as I can remember. But as for me I was far, far away.  I went to church here and there, said my prayers every night and figured that was enough.

In my time of desperation and helplessness,  I turned to the one that I always knew would be there.  But as my dad got better I again strayed away, as if I didn't need God anymore.  A little less than to two years later, my dad was told that his cancer returned.  I was floored,  I just couldn't understand why this was happening. 

I again turned to the one that I always knew would be there.  This time was different,   I came to the realization that how could I ask God to help me if I wasn't willing to help myself.  I threw myself in his in His word, searching the scriptures looking for answers.  It was like looking at a blank page and the only words that I could read where "And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?" Matthew 14:31 (King James Version).  It was like God was speaking directly to me.  Four months later I gave my life to Christ. (My dad said that he would go through cancer a million times if it would bring all his children to Christ.)

Since then my dad was diagnosed a third time, but I wasn't as afraid.  He ended up opting for alternative methods, where in his case have been very successful.   And though the road has been bumpy and occasionally I may stray a little,  I still know my way home. I know that what ever comes my way that God will give me the strength to endure. These days I just walk by faith.

The picture above is me and my dad, I was nine months pregnant with my second child, 5 1/2 years after his initial cancer diagnosis.  It has now been over seven years and the doctors call him a mystery because his cancer has not grown, actually they are not really sure if he has cancer at all.  They call him a mystery,  I call it a blessing, a miracle.  God has blessed me in so many ways.   God is good, always.

This is my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior all the day long; (Blessed Assurance, Frances J. Crosby, 1873)

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3 comments:

  1. This was a great blog. Iam now following you. I write two blogs a personal faith based blog and a conservative political blog. This has given me an idea to write about how I strayed from God when my mom died and how I eventually came back to him. Iam so glad you still have your dad. I lost my mom to a sudden massive heart attack when I was 28 and she was 52.

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  2. Thank you for following and I am following yours as well. I am sorry about your mom, but I know that she will be proud to know that you found your way home!!! Thanks for reading, you made my day!!!

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  3. Thank you so much for your honesty about your walk with Jesus and the trials that come our way. Your reference to the old hymns touch my soul. Thank you!

    I found you a few months ago then lost you. Now I have bookmarked you so I won't lose you. I can't remember if you had read my blog.

    There is an entry called 'God and the Chair' that people like though it's long to read. It's about my struggle with life and my faith in God.

    Blessings!

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