2 Corinthians 12:9-10

New International Version (NIV)

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Monday, June 28, 2010

When the World Falls Apart

God, we need Your love!Image by kelsey_lovefusionphoto via Flickr
(NIV)Psalms 45:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. 5 God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. 6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

I was overwhelmed that morning as i got to work. I was taking a few vacation days at the end of the week and was trying to get my desk cleared off before I left. (if you saw my desk you would know why I was so overwhelmed) As I was trying to prioritize my projects, I got a call from my mom (who rarely calls me at work) with some horrifying news.
An old friend of mines husband was killed. They had two young children. My heart was breaking as my mom told me what she knew. So as I am worrying about all the stupid stuff on my desk, someone elses world was turning upside and then into a million pieces. As I worry about all these stupid things, someones elses life is falling apart. It makes you put things into perspective.

Its hard not to blame God when bad things happen. Its hard not to ask him why?? There is no answer, not right now anyway, one day we will get that answer and we will understand. All we can do now is ask God for strength and guidance, for the things that happen are beyond our own understanding. We have to put it in his hands, especially when it is too much to bear. There is no situation that he can't see us through. Even though I cannot fathom what she is going through right now, I know He will see her through. He will give her the strength that she never knew she had.

Lord, I just ask that you bless my friend and her family at this time, give them the strengthen and guidance that they need to get through this. Be their place of refuge, comfort them, let them know that You are there, always.
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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

These Hands

Baby Hands, 5Image by nathangibbs via Flickr
Well from my last post, I guess you can tell I didn't have such a good day.  Sometimes the weight of the world just takes its toll.  For those of you that don't know, my kids are quite the handful, especially the little one. After an event filled day of screaming and crying for nothing (my 2 year old, not me) I was ready to collapse and go to bed.  But of course that was impossible, I had to clean the kitchen and straighten up a little.  It was after 11:00 pm before I got to bed.  I was so ready for the day to be over with.  Yes, my daughter still sleeps in the bed with us.   I thought she was asleep but as I laid down and got comfortable I felt these little hands on face as if she was saying "It's ok mommy, I love you".  These little hands had the ability to melt the rest of the world away, even it if was just for a moment.

It reminded me of someone else's hands.  The hands that held the weight of the world, the hands that pulled Peter out of the water to keep him from drowning, when Peter took his eyes off of Him.  The hands that put mud on the blind mans eyes and once the mud was washed away the blind man could see.  The very hands that measured the sky.  The hands that were pierced with nails to show us the ultimate sacrifice, the same hands that still bear the scars to prove it.

Did God really use these little hands to remind me of his love?
Never underestimate the power of these hands.

Isaiah 49:16- Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are in My view continuously.

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Monday, June 21, 2010

What a Day!!!!

Is it over yet??? Most days my job is tolerable, I take things as they come.  Over the years I have built up quite a thick skin, that's what you get for working for lawyers.  But today, oh what a day, I was politely insulted by an unattractive, old, short man.  Maybe in his mind he was just joking but its hard to take it that way when your the butt of the joke.   It wasn't even that bad of an insult, its just the fact that he had the nerve to say anything about me at all.  I am sorry if I am not that pleasing enough to your eyes that you have to say some stupid comment just to make conversation.  Of course, I politely laughed it off.

On the way home with the kids I had the radio turned up a little bit, sunglasses on and had myself a little cry, quietly, so the kids wouldn't notice.  The funny part is,  I usually don't cry about stupid stuff like that, just sometimes things build up to the point where one little stupid thing turns on the waterworks.

Why was I carrying such a load?  I am they type that just lets things build up and build up.  I brush things off as if it doesn't affect me but sooner or later things build up to the point where it take its toll. 

Psalms 55:22- Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall

I always say that I put things in God's hands, but I always seem to take them back. Do I really think that I can do a better job? Do I really think that I know what's best for me? No matter what God has done for me for some reason I keep taking my burdens back.

Please Lord, make my faith stronger, so that I may cast all of my cares, worries and burdens on You, since You are so willing to take that load.

Friday, June 18, 2010

The Potter's Hands

Jesus' HandsImage by Thomas J via Flickr
We all start out as a ball of clay in the Potter's hands.  He has been working on me for sometime now.  Slowly, patiently molding me into the person I'm supposed to be.  I always wonder if he will ever finish.

It's not always comfortable being molded, giving Someone control of your life. I can often fell Him nudging at my shoulder to remove the last bit of that chip.  He is constantly skimming my back in order to lighten my load.  Kneading and pulling at my heart to soften it and make sure that it doesn't turn to stone.  Carefully carving at my feet insuring that my soul is firm.  Smoothing away all those little imperfections and watering down my pride.  I'm a work in progress, but I am in the Master Artist hands.  He won't stop unless I walk away from him.  You would think this daily process would get exhausting but he doesn't stop.  It feels like everyday he has to start from scratch.  But he doesn't give up, even when I think all hope is lost. Why is He so patient with me, why does He love me so? Why is it not matter what I do he still loves me?  He knows that one day I will be perfect, the day when people look at me and all they will see is Him.

There it is, His masterpiece.  That masterpiece will be me and you, if you let Him.

Jeremiah 18:6- As the clay is in the potter's hand, so you are in My hand.
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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Turning the Other Cheek

I would describe myself as a pretty easygoing person.  I always try to go out of my way to help people.  Until I start to feel taken advantage of, then I can feel the old me slowly rearing her ugly little head.  The old me, the word that would describe her best is a word I choose not to share.  The old me, the one that hits below the belt, the one that knows exactly what your weakness is and will not hesitate to point it out.  I locked her up a long time ago, but every once in a while I see her face.  When people try to get the best of me and there she is to step in. Why is that?

Because I hate having to turn the other cheek.  Why do I have to be submissive and let people walk all over me?  Does God really want us to be a push over?

Matthew 5: 39 But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. 43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

Today was one of those days.  I felt like a co-worker was taking advantage of me.  I didn't turn the other cheek.  I was mad, because this wasn't the first time.  Usually I can let things slide but today the old me was quite resistant to go back into her box.  Although she didn't fully come out, enough was done that would show a piece of her.

On the way home from work a little voice in my head said, "how could you have handled that better?"  Shut up!!!!!  I want to get the last word, I want people to know that they can't take advantage of me.  Then I took a deep breath and accepted the fact that the little voice was right.

God doesn't want us to be submissive or a push over, He wants us to be a reflection of Him.  He wants people to see Him in us, in our actions, in our words.  It is more important for them to see a reflection of Him, then it is for us to get the last word, or to know that we made our point.

How can someone ever learn about Him, if they never see Him?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Glass on the Outside

Broken glassImage via Wikipedia
I am not really sure how I got to this point.  I don't ever remember a time when I wasn't guarded.  I built these walls around me to keep me from getting hurt.   I never really realized that they were just glass on the outside and ready to shatter at any given moment. Never let them see you cry was my motto, you don't want people to think that you are broken. A smile, a kind remark, any act of kindness just simply a habit, because it is what you are supposed to do, even when people aren't so kind to you.  Acting like things don't bother me. What is the point of these walls if you get hurt anyway? And why did I build them on such a weak foundation?

Even the strongest walls can crumble if there are not on the right foundation.

Matthew 7: 24-27 -Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.

Lord, I know that my broken road prepares Your will for me.  Help me to remember that daily and remember that I have a purpose.
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Saturday, June 5, 2010

Somewhere I Belong

Lonely Woman Watching Sea Waves on BeachImage by epSos.de via Flickr
So I was visiting with some friends at church this morning.  We were talking about everyday things.  Then they started to talk to each other about some vacation that they were planning to take together along with another couple (the other couple wasn't me and my husband).  I walked away to tend to my 2 year old acting as if it didn't bother me, but the truth is, it did.

I spent most of my life trying to fit in, trying to find somewhere I belong. I have always felt like an outsider. I have never really felt like I belonged quite anywhere, not even in my own family.  Not for any lack of trying.  Maybe I tried too hard, or maybe for some reason or another I'm just not that likable.  I know that I am not the most outgoing person and am somewhat reserved, ok I am just outright miserable and a pain to be around (but that is my next blog). 

But there was one perfect human being that walked this earth and in the end he didn't quite belong anywhere either.  He came to save us from ourselves, he loves us, and would do anything for us.  He walked this earth with a message of love and salvation but instead was outcasted, rejected and later killed. 

Isaiah 53:5 - But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

So the next time you feel like you don't quite fit in and that you don't belong anywhere, remember you are not alone and you have a friend and Savior that knows exactly what you are going through.
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Friday, June 4, 2010

What's Going On Inside of Me?

I have been having real writers block lately. Usually I have so many ideas going through my head I can't write them all down fast enough, but here lately, nothing. it stinks. I literally stare at the computer wishing some kind of idea would come to my head. I guess this is a reflection of my of my life right now and where I am at. How do you get to the point where you are so blank that there is nothing to say?

I wish that God would just tell me what He wants me to do,  I wish that I could just hear his voice so I would know that I am on the right path. Sometimes I feel so lost and so far from Him and I wonder, how did I get here? Where am I that You are so far away from me? I hate that feeling lost feeling. Sometimes it feels like God is holding on to me by my belt loop. But he won't let go, not unless I ask him too, and I never will, I always want him holding on to me, especially when I feel so far from him.

Revelation 3:20-21 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.

1 Corinthians 10:12 This too shall pass. (I hold on to this verse with every ounce of my being)

The Serenity Prayer- -by Reinhold Niebuhr

Couldn't think of anything blog about today, so I just thought that I would post my most favorite poem.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.